“Step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you; it will only burn what you are not”

Mooju

As a self-proclaimed mentally tough and resilient Black woman, I strive daily to live a principled and spiritually authentic existence that honors my Melanin Rich DNA. Living as such, the things I DON’T do are just as important as the things I DO.

In this article I will define resilience and mental toughness and list the 8 things mentally tough Black women simply don’t do.

There is a growing trend amongst Black women affirming that they never want to be called resilient again and seek to live a “soft girl” life. I want to lovingly and compassionately challenge that assertion.

What is Resilience?

The definition of resilience is, “capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture. Tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.”

According to Merriam Webster, “In physics, resilience is the ability of an elastic material to absorb energy (such as from a blow) and release that energy as it springs back to its original shape”.

Resilience is a beautiful act of transmuting tragedy and trauma into triumph. Resilience is rewarding journey of radical self-love to absorb, release and then not only go back to your original form, but to transcend into a better version of YOU.

What is Mental Toughness?

Steve Siebold, author of 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class defines mental toughness as, “a psychological edge that helps individuals perform at their best in high-pressure situations. It is the ability to stay focused and resilient in the face of adversity, and to be able to bounce back from setbacks and failures”.

Why don’t Black women want to be resilient? Because we have confused resilience with surviving and managing trauma. And they are NOT the same.

Managing trauma makes you bitter; Resilience makes you better

Managing trauma makes you distrustful and fearful; Resilience opens your heart and sets you free

Managing trauma makes you say all men are (fill in the blank); Resilience helps you choose better men.

Managing trauma points the finger; Resilience takes personal accountability

Just because you survive something, doesn’t make you “strong”. It makes you a survivor. And there is so much more to experience beyond survivorship!

Resilience and Mental Toughness makes you triumphant, transcendent, healed, and whole.

Here are the 8 things Mentally Tough Black Women Don’t Do:

1. Spiritually Bypass
2. Live in the Past
3. Define Her Worth by How Well She Integrates into White Society
4. Compete With Other Women
5. Neglect Her Health
6. Place Blame
7. Embrace White Neo Feminism
8. Betray her Roots

Over the course of 8 weeks, I will dive deeper into each of the things listed above. I hope you’re ready for this ride, because I am coming into 2023 HOT!

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