On Tuesday, 8/9, I’m releasing my 10th e-book on Amazon! I am so excited to share the Preface and Introduction with you!
Ann Voskamp said, “Shame dies when stories are told in safe places.” The safest place I know is in the pages of the books I read and the ones I write. Before the writing of this book, I never told the story of my first failed relationship. I was ashamed of what I went through. But I was also very proud of how I chose to experience life on the other side of that shame and failure. As I was writing this book, Toni Braxton’s song, Breathe Again, kept replaying in my mind. She sang:
And I can’t get you out of my head
And I know I can’t pretend
That I won’t die if you decide
You won’t see me again
If I never feel you in my arms again
If I never feel your tender kiss again
If I never hear “I love you” now and then
Will I never make love to you once again?
Please understand, if love ends
Then I promise you, I promise you
That, that I shall never breathe again
That I shall never breathe again
When I was 18 years old, I met a man who made me feel that I would never breathe again. I felt void of anything good in life when he left. It took 20 years to learn that not only could I breathe again but I was full of life and love. Today, I am with the love of my life. Occasionally, I experience brief moments of regret. Why did it take me so long to get here? Why didn’t I snap out of it sooner? Why did I wallow in resentment and fear? And then I remind myself that it doesn’t matter how long it takes, all that matters is that I arrived.
I don’t want you to wait 20 years to learn how to breathe again, heal your broken heart and open yourself to the possibility of love. I want you to embrace your healing as soon as possible. It has been said, what you are here to learn is what you are here to teach. And that is why I wrote this book. It has also been said, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And that is why you are reading this book.
This 7 step-by-step guide is what I have learned, implemented, and embraced in my life over the past 20 years. What I share in this guide has empowered and equipped me to heal from the hurt of my first breakup and prepare my heart and mind for the love of my life. After reading this book, you will have the tools to do the same. This book is more than just information, it is an opportunity to transcend your heartbroken state and transform into a woman who is loved all the way through.
“But dear, there is sun after rain, love after pain”
“The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherfucking shit out of love”
“Inexplicable sorrows await all of us” … Tragedy, pain, struggle, and loss are both inevitable and unavoidable in this life. It is impossible to live and die unscathed by life’s heart breaking and soul crushing blows. It has been said, “Pain is inescapable in love, that is why so few truly embrace it.” Not many of us will meet our very own Idris Elba or Michael B. Jordan the first time around and live happily ever after. I do know women who have met their soul mates and future husbands in high school or college and have experienced relatively little heartbreak or heartache while transitioning from one phase of the relationship to the next.
But if you are like me, that hasn’t been your experience. Your relationship ended; badly, and your heart is broken. You have been ripped wide open by love, decimated to the near nothingness that a love lost can cause. You were left to sort through and pick up the pieces of a life that remained after the storm of Black love has washed much of it away. When this happens, you find you are on the verge of losing all hope that you can experience true love. You lose hope that there is a man out there who will be completely devoted to you. You begin to question if HE even exists; the one who provides the depth of masculinity where you can revel in the joy of Black feminine womanhood. What’s worse is you question yourself. You question if you are worthy and deserving of love. You wonder if you have what it takes to heal and open your heart to love again.
Because you were lied to, cheated on, embarrassed, humiliated, made a fool of, abused, taken for granted, and left feeling worthless, ugly, and alone, you feel robbed. There was a man or men who seemingly took the best parts of you and left you damaged; now expired goods, picked over and left only for those who can’t afford more. I know I’m talking to somebody, because I have been here. More than once. But I am now engaged to the man of my dreams. A man that I still look at in awe. A man who makes my heart and womb throb with passion. A man who is my safe space and doesn’t allow me to play small or sell myself short. A man who challenges me to love deeper than I ever have and not only believes, but knows God brought us together. He is my best friend and life partner, who at times also works my very last nerve. This relationship has made me forget that my heart was ever broken. This love has been redemptive and healing. At times it has been hard to believe that this happened to me and for me. But it’s real. And I believe deeply in my heart that the same can happen for you. They say there’s a lid for every pot and there’s a lid out there looking for his pot; you!
This book won’t be of use for the woman who has the mindset that “men ain’t shit” and all the good men are already taken, in jail or gay. This isn’t for the woman who has completely closed herself off from the possibility of love and has instead made her heart a forever home for bitterness, resentment, and an exertion of masculine energy.
The woman who will gain the most from reading this book is the woman who has taken one too many blows from love, BUT despite present circumstances still believes deep in her heart that not only is she worthy, but there is a man out there who can’t wait to shower her with the kind of love that makes her forget she was ever hurt. The woman who has the kind of hope described by David Strindl-Rast when he says, “The hope that is left after all your hopes are gone—that is pure hope, rooted in the heart.” This book is for the woman that wants to love and be loved without limitation and is willing to do the work to make it happen. This work will require a journey into the dark night of the soul and require the courage to break free from the habit of spiritual bypassing. The woman who will benefit most from this book is learning how to fall in love with the idea that anything is possible, and life can only get better and better. If you are that woman, then I invite you to breathe again, heal your broken heart and embrace the courage to love again! I am rooting for you! Love is out there, waiting to envelop and embrace you in all that it is.
I hope that whet your appetite to read more! Please click the link below to pre-order your copy on 8/9.
If you can’t wait until then, feel free to join the Book Launch team! I will send you a FREE copy of the e-book in exchange for a review on launch day.