When Heartbreak Feels Like Home: Life Lessons in Healing, Loving and Letting Go


Effective 9/30/2019, will no longer be blogging from this site. But I decided to take 27 of my most poignant blog articles and compile them into a book. The book will be released early 2020, but in the meantime, here is the introduction to my book, When Heartbreak Feels Like Home: Life Lessons in Healing, Loving and Letting Go



“How does one become a butterfly, she asked pensively.

You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a


Trina Paules


In 2015, I created my blog, Brown Beauty and the Barbell. The purpose was to share both the practical and personal aspects of how lifting weights and clean eating had transformed my life. I wanted to encourage Black women to discover their inherent beauty in a barbell and become the woman of her dreams. I wanted to share that no matter how ugly the past has been, there is beauty in healing, and you can recover all that was lost. Over the past 4 years, I have written over 60 blog articles and two books. I have covered a wide range of topics including, “5 Reasons Every woman should lift weights” to “Why You Should Never Follow the Keto Diet” and “The Art of Healing: Let it be”.

Sharing my journey has not only been therapeutic for me, but it has allowed me to connect with so many women who have told me how my transparency has inspired and helped them along their journey. This book is a compilation of my most poignant blog articles which delve into healing, loving and letting go. In addition to the blog articles, I share some additional background information about the blog articles that never made it to the site. I also share a few stories that I have either been too afraid or too ashamed to write over the past 4 years. I often describe my life as being heartbreakingly beautiful; filled with pain, struggles, love and so many laughs. I’ve learned to love every bit of it and have found that every heartbreak feels like home. Surrendering to the Divine completely has taught me that life isn’t necessarily supposed to be easy or fair, but simply lived. Lived with courage and the relentless pursuit of radical self-love. My life has been an unending cycle of cocooning and emerging, and then cocooning and emerging yet again. I often wonder how many transformations I must undertake. But I’m realizing that there are infinite transformations. I must continue to transcend and metamorphosize.

This book is divided into two parts; Inner Work and Outer Work. The blog articles and stories shared in Part 1 focus on the hard, crushing inward work that must be done in the cocoon. This includes facing the past and taking personal responsibility and ownership for the part that we play in the perpetuation of our struggles. We must own our shit, and then we must forgive ourselves. And perhaps, most importantly, we must learn to love ourselves. One of my favorite quotes is by Upile Chisala. She says, “I’ve loved myself out of so much bullshit”. That is what Part 1 is all about. Loving yourself out of the bullshit. Loving yourself out of the pain of the past and finding the courage to create a brighter future. Part 2 is a compilation of the practical and daily habits of outward healing that should be combined with the inward healing found in Part 1. The blog articles in Part 2 discuss intermittent fasting, the indispensable role water plays in our lives and small changes that can be made in one’s daily routine to create more harmony in one’s life. I also discuss womb health which is near and dear to my heart. I share valuable information on how to ease menstrual cramps and experience a lighter, less painful period.

Combined, Part 1 and 2 is a wonderful blueprint on healing, loving and letting go. The articles are not in chronological order, but instead are organized by themes. Dealing with the past, learning to love yourself and releasing and letting go of the things that no longer serve you are some of the themes that are explored. The most amazing part is that this isn’t a one- time experience. This is something that must be done repeatedly. There’s a saying, “just as a snake sheds its skin, we too must shed our past over and over again”. You never arrive. There is always more healing, loving and letting go to do. It is important to mention, that my blog, Brown Beauty and the Barbell does not exist anymore. This book is the only footprint of the last four years of my healing journey. During a social media fast, I was led to disband the Beauty in a Barbell Brand and to begin something new. For me this was proof that I have made a very important shift in my life and I have transcended parts of my karma. I have ended one chapter and it is time to begin another. Because of that realization, this book means that much more. It is the evidence and the irrefutable proof that it does not matter how ugly, shameful, and painful your life has been or is. Through a commitment to healing, loving and letting go, there is another life waiting for you on the other side of your pain.

About the Author

Kathleen is a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, Certified Nutrition and Wellness Consultant, Certified Vaginal Steam Facilitator, and Certified Yin Yoga Instructor. Carrying with her the wisdom of self-healing and radical self-love, she is committed to showing others that given the right conditions, the body, mind and emotions can be healed.

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